After I Do

I sat on this book for months. I purchased it right when it came out, but I just couldn\’t bring myself to read it. You see, I went through a divorce this year and I just wasn\’t sure I couldn\’t handle bringing up the hurt again. Things are better now. I am better. So, about a month ago I pulled the book out. When I tell you that I devoured this book, I mean I literally couldn\’t put it down and read it within a few hours. It\’s rare for me to find reads like this anymore. Don\’t get me wrong, there are some fantastic books out there, but this one just hit me on such a personal level. Plus, the writing was amazing. I felt like I was talking to a girlfriend throughout the whole book. I really don\’t want to recap the story, but I will tell you that what Lauren and Ryan go through was so very real. It\’s so easy to become disconnected and complacent in a marriage. To me, that\’s what happened to Ryan and Lauren. They became so wrapped up their every day lives that they truly forgot about honoring each other and their marriage. It was sad to read about how things began to crumble, but again, so real. They didn\’t have problems that happened over night. It was a series of miscommunication, lack of interest in each other, and they simply forgot all the reasons they fell in love in the first place. I think when life sets in and the rose colored glasses come off, it\’s hard to keep a marriage, or any relationship alive. You have to deal with the pesty little things like hygiene habits, laziness, snoring, farting, and other unpleasantries. The little things continued to build for Lauren and then it become a bigger issue. Even though it was hard to read at times, seeing this couple go through something so challenging was really rewarding for me in the end. I won\’t tell you if they make it or not as a couple, but I will tell you that they learned so much about themselves throughout their separation. Another thing that hit me hard while reading this one is, that the couples who can make it through hard times, may not always be \”in love\”. Sure, they love each other, but I think in long term relationships/marriages, there are times that you aren\’t necessarily in love with your partner. It\’s finding ways to fall in love again that helps to make it last. Overall, I can say without a doubt that this is one of my best books of the year. Yes, it reached me personally, but I also felt that there were some really great messages throughout the book for everyone. It truly has something for every reader; self discovery, heart ache, falling in love, and family complexities. Seriously…read this book!

4.5* This book is about Lauren and Ryan. They meet in college and fall in love. After 6 years of dating, they get married. And after 5 years of marriage, they fall out of love. Wanting things to work out, they decide to take a break from one another for a year. No texts, no emails, no contact. This book has just as much to do with the individual as it does with our relationship to love. Everyone approaches love and relationships differently. What is right for one couple is completely wrong for another. This captures that idea to perfection. Lauren and Ryan are told by so many people that this year long break is a mistake. That being apart is not working things out. They are constantly criticizing by \”people that seem to know better\”. But this also shows that really no one has any clue about love. We just know what has worked for us, and try to pass along this wisdom to the people we love and hope it works just as well for them. My biggest love of this book is not the individual journey Lauren takes to find out more about herself through her love of Ryan. It\’s all the ways in which people approach and interpret love. Rachel, Lauren\’s sister wants to fall in love but she is also happy being by herself and developing her career. This works for her. Lauren\’s mom is seeing a man that treats her like a princess, but she knows the moment is fleeting so they well not progress past the initial love stage where they spend tons of time together. She is happy with her love life for now and that works for her. Charlie, Lauren\’s brother has many different flings that result in one that sticks. Committing to someone he hardly knows because…..reasons (this is a spoiler so I\’m not telling). This works well for him. David, a man Lauren is sleeping with is still hung up on his ex that cheated on him. He keeps his distance because it is what he is told to do by other people. Because \”you\’re supposed to leave someone that cheats on you\”. He doesn\’t know how to move on and continue to love her up close. He has to keep his distance to protect himself from the pain. But this works for him. This book is an embodiment of \”THERE IS NO RIGHT WAY TO LOVE, THERE IS NO RIGHT WAY TO HAVE A RELATIONSHIP. THERE IS NO ONE THING THAT WORKS FOR EVERYONE. THERE\’S JUST LOVE\”. And I love that about this book. The only thing that caught me off guard is how how much I didn\’t like Lauren and Ryan at the beginning of this book. But the further I got into this book the more I liked them.

Taylor Jenkins Reid has a moreish, gorgeously lyrical way of writing about relationships and the human condition and this short read about a woman in an unhappy marriage who, over the course of a year apart from her husband, learns to take responsibility for her own happiness and how to love and be loved is no different. Its no great work of literature but is a cosy, easy read to lose yourself in on a wintry night.

This book is like a warm hot chocolate on a cold day. I absolutely loved it and spent days carrying it around engrossed. The characters drew you in and you genuinely care about each and every one of them as you discover and learn more about each of their little worlds. I cannot recommend this book or the author enough. The book itself has become a firm favourite and I still carry it in my bag just to keep that feeling of warmth with me! Ten out of ten. Buy the book!

Story – A husband and wife of 10 years decide to split because it isn\’t working. They decide to not speak or see one another for one whole year. The story we read is told by the wife. Verdict – Fantastic read. Calming, assuring, very good humoured and not over zealous, yet very gripping and moving. You want to know what happens next. The book understands the characters, life, marriage, sentiment and heart-break. I can totally see this becoming a film but that doesn\’t matter. The book is amazing and the author has surprised me. PS – changed my rating to 5 stars.

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