Forgiving What You Can’t Forget: Discover How to Move On, Make Peace with Painful Memories, and Create a Life That’s Beautiful Again

My one-star review is coming from a Christian, and is based on the fact that this book is marketed and sold as a Christian book, but the focus has little to do with Christ and everything to do with self.

This book is full of flowery, feel-good words that have little meaning, and what little meaning they have is often hard to decipher. Lysas writing style is very artistic, using lots of repetitive words in different forms, and so many alliterations. SO MANY ALLITERATIONS. Its not a bad thing. Shes a good writer. But, there is so much flowery language its often hard to grasp what shes actually saying.

In addition, I believe there is misinterpreted scripture throughout. One example is her use of Genesis 2:25. She writes:
One of my favorite verses in the Bible is, Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame (Genesis 2:25). They were vulnerable… not at risk of being exposed but so very open to being loved. They didnt feel ashamed of themselves. They didnt shame each other. They didnt act shamefully in any way. Ive often said this was because they had no other opinions to contend with but the absolute love of God.(1) This is true.
Adam and Eve didnt feel shame because there was no sin in Genesis 2:25. That verse comes before the fall. It has nothing to do with being vulnerable with one another (as she goes on to suggest), or being open to being loved, and everything to do with the perfect (literally), sinless world they lived in. This is just one example of how Lysa pulls scripture to fit her writing rather than fit her writing to what scripture says.

Besides that, and my biggest reason for the one star, is that this is a self-help book. Not a Christ centered, gospel driven Christian book, but one that over and over again focuses on what YOU need to do for YOURSELF in order to forgive others, and not the power of what Christ has done on the cross for you.

The sample consisted only of sources for the book, chapter info, not one page of the actual book. So I stupidly ordered it paying more than I normally would for a book. By page 2 I deleted the book. What a bunch of crap. Yes, she talked about being hurt, but her main topic was to think about all the good times. Seriously? The people who hurt me so much that I cant forgive them destroyed any good memory I might have had. Garbage. Wish I had my $14 back

I knew this book would a be a good resource to me. I came across it by accident, and I am so happy I did. A year and a half ago I found out my husband was having an affair shortly after my mom passed. A death of a parent and a marriage back to back was too much to bare. I didnt think I was going to make it, but I refused to give up. With constant prayer, support from family and friends and staying adamant that I would make it through hard work, I am in a better place. I still have a lot of work to do, but I am thankful I am not where I was a year ago. This book came right on time and I am excited about this book.

Many of Lysa’s life experiences have mirrored my own, so I hoped that I would find this book just as timely and applicable to my life as I did her last one, “It’s Not Supposed to Be This Way: Finding Unexpected Strength When Disappointments Leave You Shattered.”
I did. I downloaded it and read it through (i.e., devoured it) in one sitting. The book just happened to be released on a day that was a rather hard one for me, so I am even more grateful for the wisdom, grace, and hope contained within. I know that I will be returning to this book regularly in the days to come.
I am so very, very grateful that Lysa has allowed God to bring beauty out of her devastation. This book is so very timely and necessary now, in a world full of deeply wounded and badly hurting people.
If you have ever been deeply wounded, then I strongly recommend that you grab two copies – one to read, and one to share.

If possible, this book is even more powerful than her last. It is helped me come to terms with deep feelings of anger and resentment that have plagued me for years. As I deal with cancer and marital woes in the midst of a pandemic, I have ironcially found the most peace I have felt in years. I savored each chapter of this book at it helped me peel back the layers on all the many emotions I was experiencing and make important steps towards healing. I highly recommend.

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