So You’ve Been Publicly Shamed

I expected this book to be a bit more light hearted, like a retrospective and sympathetic look at old memes like the Rebecca Blacks and Light Saber Ninja meme kids who the Internet turned into jokes. Instead Ronson takes the reader to the darkest levels of public shaming and forces us to see how we are all part of this modern epidemic of social media shaming. He focuses in on the way shame destroys people on such a fundamental level and how difficult it is to recover from being publicly shamed. My biggest complaint is probably the books length, I\’m left wondering about so many people in the book and how their stores unfold, I also wish there were more explorations on shame as it effects physical wellbeing. Like all of Ronson\’s books it is a compilation of people\’s stories and experiences that are all centered around a single theme, but I feel in this instance there are so many more stories that could\’ve been tied in. Regardless, I found it very intriguing, and entertaining (and I now feel ashamed for finding a book about shaming people entertaining…). Ronson\’s narration is fantastic as well.

There is embarrassment: walking out of the bathroom with toilet paper stuck to your shoe; then there is Shame… \”the quintessential human emotion,\” says psychologist Michael Lewis, Ph.D. Shame tells you there is something wrong with you; you are flawed before the view of a judgmental world; a failure. It erodes your self-esteem and confidence. Even Sarte wrote that shame is \”the most dreaded emotional experience.\” Ronson gives us a look at the growing phenomenon of humans wielding their autonomy via the internet and social media to take a giant step beyond bullying. Telling the stories of a few individuals involved in some public scandals, he shows the effects of public shaming on the individual victims, their families, even new professions that have sprung up to deal with these cyber bullies. The accounts of the victims are candid and discernible as they relate the sense of embarrassment, guilt, and isolation they felt with such manipulated public exposure. These were events that happened on a big scale. It\’s the little oopsie moments that we all mindlessly fall into that were most frightening. An iPhone shot just clowning around that goes viral and winds up on the boss\’s desk, a comment taken not quite but almost out of context…a celebrity choosing to go out in black face for Halloween. The impact of *harmless* actions poorly thought out, if at all. How close we\’ve all come to being fodder for the cyber bully or Shamer, trolling around waiting for the kill. Ronson is an author that connects to the reader by giving you good information that is also entertaining and relevant. He knows how to make those moments of shock hit, and how to engage personal inventory, \”Am I a Psychopath, is my neighbor?\” And he can be funny, writing about military psychics that stare down goats, or conspiracy theorists. There\’s not much humor here, but he sticks his point with the same liveliness. It\’s an eye-opening look that forces you to think. Is the world becoming more hostile, and what are the ramifications. I would have liked more conversation with the Shamers, but how likely are we to listen — beyond such actions. Remembering Ryan\’s Daughter standing before the townsfolk with her shorn hair, tarred and feathered, and Hester Prynn with her scarlet \”A\” embroidered on her wardrobe, or even the stockades in the town square — shaming is not new. But Ronson paints it neon, helping us realize that we have never had such a capacity to destroy another person as we do now.

The only reason this isn\’t a full-on 5-star review is because Jon Ronson, damn him, believes in brevity, I guess! I could have listened to many hours more of this subject as reported with his insight and pathos, as delivered in his own neurotic style (He yells, he shrieks, he staggers!). This all starts for Ronson when he feels personally violated by a spambot that has been given \”his\” identity and a Jon Ronson twitter account. Ronson then feels the savage thrill when the crowd supports him in having the spambot removed from the twitter sphere (tho\’ he does get a bit worried with some of the responses supporting him. He worries people might get hurt…) And people do get hurt. Not in his case. But in the other public shamings (which have taken place since all the men in America were named Nathaniel). Some people bring it on themselves: self-playgiarism/bad or made up facts. Others have made jokes that they later really, really, REALLY regret. Because the world is huge out there, and people are looking. Looking hard. The cruelty, the vindictiveness with which they go after others—they\’ve smelled blood in the water and they won\’t stop the churning until lives are destroyed. This is a wonderful, wonderful book and as usual Jon Ronson brings the right amount of humor and self-deprecating hubris with him as he walks with these people, even helps them as they try to rebuild their lives. Definitely credit-worthy, and you will never, ever tweet or blog or Facebook… or plagiarize so blithely again…

highlights everything wrong with society but doesn\’t really do it in a cool way that pushes us to change our minds it\’s just stupid.

Jon Ronson books are typically a collection of amusing anecdotes about the lunatic fringe or bizarre situations. This book has a more sinister edge as it delves into the mire of the internet mob mentality. The narration is delivered with the usual seemingly naive earnestness that Jon is known for but in this book there is a sympathy for the victims of public shaming and disgust for the perpetrators that he seems honour bound to step back from straddling the line of journalistic objectivity. The stories here stir you up as you hear of people\’s lives being ruined by the fury of an Internet of pathetic people hiding behind a keyboard. The subject of the first story probably deserved his shaming but stories of some of the poor people that follow make you sick as a private conversation or failed attempt at a joke goes viral and their lives and careers are permanently changed. Does the Internet champion free speech or is it just a mouthpiece for cheap speech?

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