Unorthodox: The Scandalous Rejection of My Hasidic Roots

Last week my husband discovered the “Unorthodox” movie series on netflix, and we watched it in one sitting. Then, I began researching. Typically, before I buy any book I read the 1-2 star reviews first. I want to know the “worst” first. Sometimes, I have been spared wasting my time and money on things that were not enjoyable to me, but luckily for me I did not cave in to the negative reviews about this author. After reading both books (first Unorthodox, then Exodus) on PC kindle over the weekend I want to say I thoroughly enjoyed them both, and can relate to so many of the author’s experiences.

I, too, grew up in a closed religious community – the horse and buggy Old Order Mennonites in Pa.. So often I felt misplaced, and felt as if the stork had dropped me off with the wrong family. Nowadays, they have GPS so it doesn’t happen as much. 😉 Our “Holocaust Bible” was the Martyr’s Mirror – a large leather bound book filled with the most horrible accounts, including photos, of my ancestors the Anabaptists, being tortured and killed for their Christian beliefs.

About the 1-2 negative reviews:
Some reviewers say that the author lied a lot. Based on my own experiences of what goes on in closed and insular communities, I can say without a doubt that everything she wrote is absolutely believable to me. Another reviewer said that many of the 1-2 star reviewers had “skin in the game”. I would agree; and also it’s likely that many of the 1-2 stars were simply written by paid trolls; or jealous people envious of the author’s writing talents and success.

Some said the author is shallow…blah blah blah. I say they clearly missed, and misinterpreted, a whole lot! Becoming your authentic self is a long process, even for many people under NORMAL circumstances. Trust me, I know whereof I speak. I’m in my low sixties, and the healing is still ongoing.

My ex-husband, and my current husband, are both ex-Catholics. My mother was deathly afraid of Catholics. She said they (Roman Catholics) were the people who tortured our ancestors. So, my husband’s ancestors tortured my ancestors. But, we didn’t have anything to do with that. I chose to be willing to shed that emotional heritage/baggage. The buck stops here. I want to live with as much joy, in the present moment, as is possible.

Looking at life from one point of view:
Predators on one side, and the persecuted or prey on the other side…two sides of one coin. This is not to say that it’s inevitable that we all experience this, but until we realize we can toss that coin aside and rise above the battlefield, then most likely it will continue to some degree. “All the world’s a stage…” Like Eckhart Tolle, we can become observers.

Like many people, I discovered this book by watching Unorthodox in Netflix. But while the series is great, I feel like the book is So Much Better! I understand more of what she went through, more of the Satmar Hasidic culture, and a bigger depth of the process she went through to become free.

While at times I find it slow to read, its more of my excitedness to get to the good part of her choices that led to her leaving the community. Other reviewers have called her a liar, I find that quite Unbelievable considering how insulated and sometimes disturbing so many isolated religious communities in the US are when brought to light. Still others have criticized her unfeeling attitude towards her baby son, but as a mother myself I walk with her, slowly understanding that she cant feel for him until shes free herself, physically and emotionally, and then everything, including motherly emotion, open up to her. It makes a lot of sense to me. Its a process!

I applaud her efforts to bring this expose about and I cant wait to read more of her work. Bravo! Highly recommend!

Every night I crack this book open, I read a few chapters, I am disgusted by the author, I close it in frustration and I stupidly repeat this process night after night. I watched the series made from this book and I thoroughly enjoyed it. Whomever edited this book for that series did a superior job to the editor that edited this book for the book itself. The first 62% of this book is mind numbingly BORING. It is waaay too much exposition of her childhood-its like that person who thinks they are endlessly fascinating and tells you their nighttime dreams at length while you blink and nod. Its grueling to get through. The series cut it all out, save for a few flashbacks. This woman is constantly harping on everyone around her, sure they are judging her (its actually downright paranoid by halfway through this tome), but seems utterly unbothered by the irony of her nasty critical tone towards THEM. The teachers, her own family, her aunt who dared to attempt to take on the obligations of the authors missing mother when the author married because she hadnt bothered before, the husband, the nurse at the hospital, the woman who washes women for purity after menses. Her in laws, her neighbors-her in laws, everyone owed her something and wasnt paying up properly. She had issues with everything, sex, pregnancy, breastfeeding, mothering, her marriage, her relationships with all of her family. She was firmly unhappy astoundingly ungrateful for anything, and complained Unendingly.
She is callous and frigid (towards everyone) she complains her husband said she will never be happy and she certainly seems miserable and critical and paranoid and arrogant. What an awful combo. Nothing inspirational about this person. I was hoping for a story of strength, growth, bravery, what you get is a whining victim who always thought the worst of everyones motives, had zero loyalty to anyone, and humble bragged every few pages. Her first day wearing jeans should have been such a powerful symbol of breaking free, thinking for ones self, having the guts to break out, but she only comments that all of the gardeners at her school whistled at her and she doubted any other woman got that reaction when wearing jeans. Stick to the show if you are interested at all. The actress who played the main character shed all of the self indignation and self aggrandizement this woman highlights throughout her story and showed grit, dignity, and pain in a powerful performance.

I read this book in a few sittings. It is an excellent inside view of this particular Hasidic sect. One realizes that religion is a small part of an ultra Orthodox upbringing. It includes isolation prejudice prescribed views and control.

I had read an excerpt of this book and thought it would be a really fascinating read. The subject matter is fascinating but it was like reading material for a school exam. It was very hard going and constantly disruptive to translate the vast amount of Yiddish words and phrases in the book. In some parts, there were 4 or 5 Yiddish words or phrases per page. This made it a really slow going read. If the author wants to tell her story of rejecting her Hasidic roots then perhaps she could’ve made it easier for her readers by using less of the Yiddish language. I speak German, so some of the language was easy to translate. However, as I understand the author is planning a sequel, she should think about the language otherwise there’s a whole section of society who simply won’t read this book.

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