Private Down Under

I agree with another reviewer: One star is being generous. The characters are insipid; bland; boring and not original. The dialogue is so stupid as to induce cringes. There are a couple of scenes in the book where I wanted to scream when I read them. One was a description of the hero’s car accident, wherein he climbs out of the wrecked car and is given the forensic report on the other driver. Really? How fascinating. I know things happen slowly here in the states with regard to crime scene investigation, but to find out that the Aussies can gin up a forensic report AT THE SCENE is positively embarrassing.

Another scene which doesn’t pass muster: one of Private’s richie-rich clients (are there any other types?) is being threatened with a very sharp object, and is being held down by the assailant. The Private detectives burst in, and then just STAND THERE. Doing nothing. Watching. In fact, the narrative goes like this “…and Johnny and Darlene realized the best thing they could do was nothing.” Holy carp! If I am paying these dolts tons of money, and I am being threatened with being filleted like, well, a carp, I would hope my ‘protectors’ would do SOMETHING, except watch. A final scene that begs credulity… the perpetrator of the main crimes is holding a VIP at knife point. The cops are behind her, about 10 feet, guns drawn. She doesn’t know they are they there. Do they shoot? Do they act like cops in any way? NO! They simply stand there, too!

This was an ignorant story written by a lame-brain. Do NOT waste your money or time on this dreck. BAD, BAD, HORRIBLE!

Eversince James Patterson started putting his name on the writing of one if his apparently slew of writing people, you really never know what you are going to get.. I wish he would either write as he used to, or retire.. but I guess when you have a name, you can market it..
So this book for me was mediocre at best.. The first 50-60 pages were so discombobulated that I almost stopped reading.. Decided to finish because I had nothing better to read..
Sad really, since Patterson was one of my absolute favorite murder mystery writers.. For me he is following a path of Daniel Steel, once they start popping a book avery two monte it seems, its time to just stop buying and reading..

While having an office is Australia may be good for Private, it isn’t all that good for the reader. I have no objections to swearing, cussing, if you prefer, but there was too much in the early chapters in the book. Much of it was unnecessary and forced. This usually indicates that the author cannot get its blankey-blank together and write. It isn’t any different than authors who include a paragraph or two of over-described sex.

The story could be good, but there was too much bouncing between scenes. Some parts were really stretched. Some of the writing sounded like the author found a beginner’s book on writing descriptive sentences. Too much!

What happened to the Thorogood kids after the run in with Julie’s playing around with makeup? The whole Julie/Greta thing just jerked the reader around. The whole book did.

Maybe 3 stars is more appropriate.

PRIVATE DOWN UNDER, a novel by James Patterson and Michael White.
I have read all of the Private books with titles bearing names of many of the worlds great cities and have generally enjoyed them and rated them highly. However, this Aussie Private is far below Patterson standards. My guess is that it was written by Michael White with little oversight by Patterson. The writing is disjointed in structure, lacks a coherent plot, and quite boring with the exception a few chapters toward the end. His characters were left dangling, and most were never fully developed. Suppose my disappointment stems from the notion that I expected more from James Patterson. At the 75 percent point the story did take on some semblance of a structured novel, but it was too little, too late.
I am being generous to give this book a rating of 2. I do not recommend it.

I have read a LOT of James Patterson’s books. This one seems like a first draft or outline. I want to know more in depth about the personalities. I want to know the followup to the babysitter episode, e.g. a) why would any couple leave children without vetting a temporary sitter, b) did anyone notice the cosmetics were used?. I wonder if the neighborhood watch warned women to change their routines and go out with partners. I want to know what crime solving was done by the beautiful co-owner from Private LA – other than to open the Australia office. I would like to see a time line that would authenticate how so many people could be in such a variety of spaces in just a week or so. I would like to know how someone comes straight to the office after surgery and expecting to use a colostomy for two months. Too many pieces and missing connections. At least the bad guys and gals were stopped.

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