The Not-Outcast

WOAH. Not since Ryans Bed have I been so consumed, gutted, revitalized, and emotionally challenged by a Tijan book. Everything about this book is unexpected- the themes, the focus, the characters. And that is what makes it so profound, so moving. Oh yes, we have that addictive charm we love about Tijan stories- some angsty romance goodness that sucks us in…but this is one of the Tijan stories that digs DEEP. Really deep- a story whose unexpectedness and eccentricities parallel that of our heroine. This is a story that changes you. Hands down, this is Tijans best work to date.

While this story seems on the surface like a hockey story, a sports romance- it is really not. And that is what I love about it- what makes it so different, so special. This is really a story about mental illness and about the power of unconditional love. I wont even try to summarize the plot- because to be honest, this is a story about characters. About characters minds and characters connections. And that is what gives it such emotional complexity, such emotional range. I was moved to tears more than once- and even now, I tear up thinking about the character journeys.

Tijan is known for her quirky characters, especially her quirky heroines, characters with an individuality so specific and defining, unique and interesting. Cheyenne is interesting, but Tijan moves her beyond quirk. Oh, shes quirky- shes charming and unusual, but part of her quirks arent just personality eccentricities. Cheyenne is a character suffering from a debilitating mental disorder. And, we get to see the full range of how this impacts her and her life- from pure and tragic consumption of her identity and mind to the inspiring but Herculean efforts she takes to cope and keep it in check. This adds a whole new dimension to Tijans characterization- because this is not quirkiness to make this character relatable or more interesting…in fact, at first it makes it harder to connect with Cheyenne- intentionally so. Because we dont yet understand her, even though we can FEEL her pain and sadness. CHEYENNE is different- this is a whole new dimension, but that is why I love what Tijan is doing here. Shes normalizing what makes Cheyenne different, shes humanizing it and making it accessible, familiar even…but most powerful of all, Tijan shows us the beauty in her difference. In her condition, in her struggles, in her hard fought victories and tragic setbacks.

Cheyenne is a Tijan triumph- truly a revelation. Tijan embraces her challenges, lets us live them, and she makes them beautiful. I LOVE HER- I would take a bullet for her. Shes been treated deplorably, suffered in ways we cant understand, yet shes forgiving, shes hopeful, shes KIND. Shes resilient, broken and whole all at once. Ive never been so confused by yet so in love with a character more, or admired and respected a character more.

And CUT. OH MY GOSH. HE IS EVERYTHING. THIS MAN. I cant even begin to capture his perfection, but he is the definition of a swoony hero. Empathetic, protective, kind and supportive. But hes also a sexy alpha- but he somehow takes control of situations and protects without controlling Cheyenne..and this is SO important. And so empowering. Because Cheyenne has been controlled by others and the challenges of her own mind her entire life- so to see this man love her enough to respect her, to care about her needs and wishes first. He always gives her what she needs- because he cares enough to figure it out. And he SEES her- he loves her for just who she is, not in spite of it. And he fights for her…but most importantly, he helps her fight for herself. He embraces and loves her unconditionally- and I cant think of a Tijan man I love more. Cut consumed me entirely.

This is Tijans best character work yet- and we as readers evolve as people just from exploring Cheyennes mind. And Tijan very artfully uses the DUAL Pov and the narrative approach to help us really connect with these two characters as they connect with each other. Brilliantly, we start out in Cheyennes mind. At first we are off-put by it, confused and disoriented by the way she thinks, her ticks, her symptoms. This is really clever writing by Tijan- because sometimes being in her mind is HARD. Its confusing and frustrating- and that is the POINT. We are realizing just how hard it is for her every day to wade through her own mental chaos. And by living in her mind, we empathize. And that experience is really the theme of this story- one we experience ourselves as a reader. Empathy- the willingness to listen and understand, to truly SEE someone- well that is what leads to understanding. To connection. And CUT- he gets that. He takes the time to wade through the chaos with her, to support and uplift her. He doesnt want to save her- he just wants to love her, to value her. And their bond, while instant, is truly magic. Precious. Sweet. Intimate- the kind of love story that heals the holes in our own hearts by his sweet purity. SWOON.

While this story had all the architecture of what keeps me one-clicking Tijan, the true power of this story and why it is a new favorite is in the themes- in the sincere and powerful message Cheyennes story conveys. The clarity we can from Cheyennes own mental confusion- how her life view, her desire to live free of expectation, to be accepted, to find her anchors, to be un-outcast shows the truth about empathy and compassion. About pure love. About belonging and acceptance. Tijan shows us the healing and liberating power of compassionate connection- and I, for one, have felt so moved and touched by Cheyennes journey to so many meaningful connections. But most of all, I feel hope and happiness that she not only finds her anchors, but that she also finds the freedom to steer her own ship.

No plot spoilers outside of the summary. I do love a good contemporary sports romance, especially with unique female perspectives. This one was recommended to me and, I would say, hit those particular nails on the head. Our hero is Cut, an aggressively talented hockey player. And our heroine is Cheyenne (Shy for short) – a young woman with an incredible survivable story. She was one of the most unique characters I’ve read about it in a long time and I enjoyed the attempt at a rare character. Some of the lower star reviews seemed confused as to what her issue is…. It seems as though young Cheyenne was originally diagnosed with hyper disorder or likely ADHD, but later a doctor realizes she was misdiagnosed and actually has learning development disorders from fetal drug exposure. Additionally, as a young child, she developed delusions as a way of coping with neglect. I’m guessing this has something to do with self-deception survival techniques and Fantasy Bond. Perhaps I’m off here, but that was my understanding of what’s told to us (and, yes, it’s sorta vague). I really enjoyed the little prologue where we get to know and understand Cheyenne.

I was really impressed with Cheyenne and how she succeeds in life. Also, I love that she had developed long-term friendships and there are other female characters. And (mild spoiler, but it’s pretty early on) it wasn’t missed by me that she went on to work in an industry where she helps people who are in situations not dissimilar to her own in childhood.

Our hero, Cut, is not as developed. We don’t get to know him as much as I wanted. He lusts after Cheyenne and he loves hockey. But maybe that’s his character and I can accept that. But basically he sets his eyes on her for the first time (that he remembers), he decides that Cheyenne is HIS based solely on her looks. Spoiler in the first few pages on the book: He basically approaches her, they don’t talk, and they end up in bed together. I don’t mind this type of intro to a relationship, but I DO expect that after we get to know the characters and that they get to know each other (assuming they are supposed to end up together). Cut is bizarrely, totally, 100-percent committed to Cheyenne. Meaning, he believes in her, supports her, understands her, protects her, puts her above his life-long friends… but this seemed pretty unrealistic since he didn’t know her AT ALL. Also, it meant there is no tension or issue to the plot. These are not spoilers even, because it happens in the sample length, but the couple are together at the beginning (but also not together)… and then basically remain static and unchanged together and not together. Cut seems like a really nice guy and I admire his acceptance of Cheyenne… but I had a hard time understanding his motive outside of chemistry and attraction.

The plot in this book was light and not much to comment on. I did push through to the end but was a little underwhelmed. Sometimes in romance though the only plot necessary is boy meets girl.

Their intimacy level is ok and sometimes off-screen. I can totally skip most love scenes in romances, but it might have been interesting to see how Cheyenne copes with the intensity of passion since pretty much everything else causes her huge stress. Though supposedly when they make out she “thinks normal.” Not sure if I love that. I also missed their first kiss somehow?

I went back to read some of the huge amount of high star reviews and it’s like these reviews are describing a different, but similar, book than I read. I never found the character-driven depth and angst that’s being described in these reviews. However, it’s clear Tijan has a huge fan base and it’s fair to assume some readers really connect with her work and are able to derive more from it than I was able to. So I think there’s really something special here for some readers and, also, I give the author huge props for including Cheyenne’s story. And although this book has some great stuff, sometimes we just don’t connect to a written work the way others do.

Romance, Hockey, Steam & Just Learning To Cope.
The Not-Outcast

Tijan has done an exquisite job with this sports romance/family drama/mental health insight/chick lit rom com!!
Cheyenne is the female lead in this book. We initially meet her as a teen. We’re mostly in her head as she talks to herself about her life & what is going on around her, through her filters. It was, at times, at a frenetic pace. I thought she had A.D.D. She’s obviously a lonely & often neglected teen but she manages to keep things & herself on the sunny side.

We next meet her in her late twenties. She’s had treatments & diagnosis galore, ultimately she has learned what meds slow her thoughts down & coping mechanisms to aid her. She had excelled in college & now runs a centre that she started, it feeds the homeless in Kansas. Her reasons for moving that far from where she was born aren’t really rational but they make sense to her so she’s good with it. She has two bestfriends, Sasha & Melanie. They’re her family & she’s theirs. They anchor each other & will drop everything & anyone if they are needed by one another, They’re ride or die! All beautiful, all a little broken but all protective, loyal & loving. Cheyenne has never had that kind of acceptance before or any kind love.

Cut ‘The Reaper’ Ryder was fast becoming Hockey Royalty. He was gorgeous, played like a demon but he kept his private life low key. It drove the press mad. His bestie off the ice was Chad, they’d grown up together! He’s not into puck bunnies, theyre too dangerous in his eyes. He prefers long term but casual relationships, that is until he sets eyes on Cheyenne. His inner caveman, that only exists on the ice, rises up & insists he claims her. What he doesn’t expect is for her to do a runner the next morning, WTH!?

Omg, this book. The voice that comes through in this story is unlike any other Tijan has written before. It’s scattered, fast then sluggish, hilarious then heart breaking, honest & off centre and often her responses aren’t what you’d class as ‘normal’. But I F’love Cheyenne & if this HER normal then I’m ALL IN!! The hockey is hot & violent, the crowds are rowdy & vocal, the team is funny & Cut’s closest team mate is a riot. The Tomcats are legends, hysterically snortingly funny! I refuse to discuss her family! Although Koala Man is a Duuude! I thought Tijan had dealt with mental health issues extremely well before but this is off the charts good! Wonderfully strong & moral characters are my kryptonite! My mind has been blown in an amazing way. Thank you & please, please revisit this group again, they’re immense. Cut is the sexist of book boyfriends ever!!

Debbie, 1970, UK

Firstly, i am still struggling to formate and express this book and i am ashamed to say this is my first Tijan book i have read and OH MY GOD, why did i wait so friggin long… My emotions for Cheyenne are unreal. The strength she shows with her mental health is inspiring and demonstrates the emotions people suffer when dealing with mental health.

I feel Tijan expressed and explored the elements of mental health extremely well amd captivated me as a reader. I’m still recovering now. My heart snapped with how people treated Cheyenne espeically her damn family, it infuriates me. However….

IF only we all had a Cut in our life, he is a strong, hot, passionate hunk and the way he adapts and supports Cheynne is everything and more a person needs when dealing with mental health. There love and passion is enticing and gives you all the feels. I PROMISE you will want a Cut in your life! Let alone her strong friendship network around her had me balling my eyes out!

This a beuatiful journey which captivates, gives you laughter, heart breaking moments and passion. Tijan is a phenomenal author with an ability to make you feel so strongly for her characters. But for me the way Tiijan connects us to characters dealing with realistic issues such as mental health, and approaches them in such a sensitive, beautiful and heart wrenching way is mesmerising.

I will be embracing more of Tijan’s books but this will stay in my heart forever!

Warning: once you enter these pages, your real life will cease to exist, and when you come out the other side you will know that only one word can describe this book … EVERYTHING!!!

“I love you because you have every reason to be angry at the world, and youre not. You wake up smiling and you stay smiling. Youd choose laughter over anything, all day and every day

Wow – just wow! This book was so many words, so many adjectives, so many feelings. Once I read the first page, I just couldnt stop. The characters were so real.
Cheyenne is brave, complicated (in the BEST way), unique, loyal, kind, strong.
I love Cut! One of the best heroes ever! Hes protective, supportive, understanding, patient, caring – do I need to say anything more?
I could relate to Cheyenne in so many ways. I totally want to be part of the Tomcats.

I think Tijan wrote the book astonishingly well. I could feel all the emotions and thoughts Cheyenne and Cutler were going through as if they were my own. I was swept away by these beautiful characters and their inspiring story.

I would like to thank Tijan as a person with an invisible illness/ chronic disease for the justice you did for the subject. I just have one question – where can I find my own Cutler Ryder?!

If you enjoyed the Not-Outcast, I would definitely recommend Enemies and Teardrop Shot by Tijan.

*Spoiler* This book contains the following potential triggers: child neglect, emotional abuse, reference to drug addiction, blackmail, mental health and overdosing.

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