Unwifeable

I only made it a few chapters in. Maybe if I’d known more about Mandy’s career, which possibly was basically a gossip columnist, I would have been more cautious about purchasing this. I thought I was going to love it. But I find name-dropping SO boring and her writing style is just all over the place. Most of the book is so shallow and unfocused! Every once in a while, she would tell a really personal story or say something actually incredibly insightful. I would think “Wow, that is actually very relatable.” But then the next paragraph would be about yet another crazy exploit in New York City or an overly detailed account about one career step next to the next with lots of name dropping along the way. I just could NOT stick with it.

<i>Unwifeable</i> is the memoir of New York writer, columnist, comic, podcaster, reformed starf*cker extraordinaire Mandy Stadtmiller, though her story begins in Chicago and even takes readers on a brief jaunt to California. With the exception of the occasional flashback, her memoir covers 2005-2017. We meet her just after a painful divorce from her hipster college sweetheart; she’s headed to the City as a newly transformed “piece of ass” (thanks to the divorce diet) to start a job at the infamous <i>New York Post</i>. Readers get to join Stadtmiller on her (mis)adventures in dating; her experiences range from accidental snort-laugh funny to heartbreaking to downright terrifying. And while the book’s title and cover art imply a dating confessional, it’s so much more than that. There’s something here for nearly everyone. For those of you interested in “the business,” you get to be a fly on the wall as she navigates the strange worlds of the Page Six literati: comics, writers, agents, fellow columnists, and a delightful number of A-through-D-listers (easily the most entertaining of which being Courtney Love). For those of you interested in the logistical experience of picking up and moving to NYC without a trust fund, Mandy’s got you covered. I really enjoy her honesty about the financial pressures and strains as she attempts to pass as “one of them,” especially during her stint dating the uber-rich preppy guy who “summers” in places like the Hamptons and Newport. For those of you who are into good writing, you will be impressed with Stadtmiller’s gorgeous prose. I’ve encountered more than a few books in this genre that are downright unreadable, so it’s a delight to be able to soak of up all this fun and sometimes sordid content all the while truly enjoying the act of reading. Perhaps most surprising of all is the fact that this book is an unsung self-help book and ought to be marketed more heavily as such. Honestly, I found <i>Unwifeable</i> infinitely more healing than the last five self-help books I’ve cracked open combined. I experienced more than a few emotional and psychological gut-punches, and I didn’t always see it coming. More than anything, Stadtmiller’s memoir chronicles her many efforts to heal her childhood wounds. I don’t want to give too much away, but suffice it to say that she finds her way, one epiphany at at time. Of course, first we have to watch helplessly (like a car wreck, but you know who’s in the car, and you really like them) as she attempts to fill the void through sex, drugs, disordered eating, and this brief dabbling in Machiavellian A-lister love triangle puppet-mastery. I recommend this book to just about anyone, the only exception being people who are easily offended. I especially recommend this book to women in their 30s and 40s who really loved <i>Sex and the City</i> but always suspected the reality was perhaps not quite so shiny.

I’ve been following Stadtmiller’s life and career for over ten years, so I knew I would get something out of UNWIFEABLE. I knew some of the stories she retold, but as when you hear a friend retell something, what happened and what was said comes out in a different light each time. This book is a little sadder, or rather she seems a little more sober (sic) as she reflects on her experiences than in her previous work. It is still riveting and fun, but deeper. I appreciate and count on this author’s raw and honest style. I hope she brings us along into the next epoch of her life. To any detractors, I am sure you went through painful things in your life too. For some of us, it’s rehab to openly share it, and for others it’s bearing witness. If it’s too much for you, I understand and wish you peace, too.

I’m stunned. Near breathlessly stunned with the overwhelming honesty and self awareness of Mandy and her journey. I’ve never been able to see myself in someone so clearly and as a stubborn, fight but most often flight, never need a hand but wanting so desperately for a savor kind of person; this book took me through a lifetime of lessons. Some I’ve learned first hand by mistakingly being too cocky and indulgent and others from these pages. Unwifeable has every emotion. Like a mother warning “Do as I say, not as I do.” You can’t help but pick up little crumbs of wisdom throughout this adventure of celebrity flavoring and relationship Russian Roulette. I’ve laughed, snored (because coolness, who’s she?). I’ve self therapized and shower monologued. I’ve cried my eyes out and felt dipped in utterly hopefulness for things to come all in these short lively pages. You are truly in for a treat when sitting down to this feature. Snuggle up and dive into what will surely be your favorite read of the year.

Early on I found myself rooting for this author. She is brutally honest and unsparing of details in her descent into a sort of dating and marital hell. Sometimes this is painful to read. But throughout the worst of it there is this life affirming sense of the triumph of the human spirit. Inspirational.

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