Pyramids

Terry Pratchett is the master of a fantasy sub-genre that probably belongs to him alone. Most of them are clever, witty, and rapid-fire novels. Almost all of the Discworld novels fall into different categories: Tiffany Aching, Rincewind, the three witches, Sam Vines and the guards, and Death. Each book in a group focuses on one of them, although they cross over and pop up in each others’ books all the time. This book is unusual in that it stands alone. Pyramids begins in Ankh- Morpork which is a familiar setting in Disc World. It is colorful and smelly. Teppic, our hero, is training to be a member of the Assassins Guild. The final exam is very entertaining. Teppic is heir to the Pharaoh of a desert river kingdom filled with pyramids. Most of the story takes place after his fathers death when Teppic returns to the kingdom and things come unglued. You can trust Terry Pratchett to not be too linear and to not be very predictable. Terry Pratchett does a wonderful job of maintaining the integrity of his absurd world and his characters while keeping everything fresh and creative. The humor is wrapped around serious themes. The characters have fantasy aspects, but they illustrate many universal truths of human nature. In this book you had to love the camel named You Bastard and Endos the Listener. Actually, there is a cast of thousands in this book with Gods, Philosophers, embalmers, priests, pyramid builders, dead people, soldiers, servants, foreign armies, assassins and so on. I cannot read too many of them in a row, but when I need something different, a Discworld novel is the perfect metaphorical palate refresher. Like all the Discworld books, the tone is satirical and clever. This book was not my favorite of the Discworld novels and it did not make me laugh aloud as frequently as Wee Free Men. These books do not contain any scenes, language, or images that would rate even a PG-13 rating at the movies. If a reader does not have sufficient maturity, much of the book will be wasted, because you wont get the jokes or understand the satire. It should be impossible to write such pure nonsense that ends up making great sense.

Let’s just get this out of the way: almost any Pratchett Discworld book is going to be good. Maybe some of them aren’t write-home-to-your-mother, oh-my-gods-you-must-read-this good (though many are), but all are still enjoyable. This is one such novel, which is good solid fun if you like comic novels.
If you like Egyptology, you’ll love it.
If you have a slightly-better-than-passing knowledge of Egypt, some of the jokes are going to be more enjoyable (the Ephebian custom of Mocracy, for example, where everyone has the Vet – unless you’re a slave, a criminal, insane, or a woman, obviously). While his humor is accessable to all (“IT’S NOON, IT’S NOON, IT’S NOOOOOOOON!” “Why are you shouting into a bullrush?”/”Hail Benu, probably”), Egypt fans will appreciate the more classic nods to the period and mythology, including this gem from right before the climax (roughly, from memory):

“What do you see, Gern?”
“I see stars, master…”
“And what are they on?”
The apprentice relaxed. “Oh, that’s easy, everyone knows the stars lay on the body of the goddess Nut who arches across…ooooh, bloody hell….”
“You can see her too?”
“Oh, mummy.”

Solid work from a solid author, this is book is looking really quantum.

I wish I knew about Terry Pratchett before studying the history of Egypt. I mean, I wish Pyramids was translated into Russian (yes, I’m from Russia), and I would’ve read it, because I would’ve fallen in love with all things pyramids and mummies and history and camels and stuff, that I would’ve studied it that much harder, all the while imagining them to flare up, and explode, and suck in time, and make people flat, and copy people in time, like, a person twenty minute ago and a person twenty minutes ahead of time. Heck, that would’ve maybe inspired me to study physics harder. I always hated it, thought the teacher was nice. Anyway. Pretend you know nothing about pyramids and read this book. Well, actually, this book is not about Egyptian pyramids, it’s about Discworld pyramids, but nonetheless. The parallel is clear. You will laugh to tears. Actually, have a pack of tissues next to you as you will be wiping your eyes on every page. And if you won’t, then maybe you’re reading it upside down. Check and see, are you?

Now, what is this book about? Discworld, of course, only this time we follow Teppic, the lovely fellow who is supposed to be a pharaoh one day (he’s just a prince now), but really despises the job and goes off to study how to be an assassin. Why? Oh, I won’t spoil this for you. The reason will make you pee your pants, in a good way. Laughter, remember? So, he senses that something dreadful has happened to his father and comes back to his Kingdom, which is, incidentally, this long narrow sliver of land stuffed with pyramids, and, well, he’s the most unlikely pharaoh you will ever read about. There are priests, of the most hysterical kind. There are mummies, too. Polite ones. And sphinxes, the ones that are easy to fool. And maidens, and pyramid architects, and embalmers, and a whole slew of characters that will keep you turning the pages, and will keep you wiping your eyes. I think by the end of this book your stomach muscles will strengthen considerably. In fact, this book will make your midriff ready for summer and beaches and bath suits. I mean, swim suits. Whatever. READ IT.

While this is a middling entry in Terry Pratchett’s Discworld series, compared to most other humorous fiction it’s pure gold because, well, it’s Pratchett. Inspired by the “pyramid power” craze that began in the 70s, Pyramids tells the story of a reluctant young pharaoh in a faded empire sandwiched between larger, more “modern” nations. It also plays with space-time, multiverses, etc. because, well, it’s Pratchett. The characters and plot aren’t as memorable as in some of the previous Discworld books, but it’s still a brisk, fun read because, well [say it with me], it’s Pratchett.

This sweltering masterpiece stands alone*.
in a world slowly coming to recognise how opinion+politics+money differs from science, and where climate means more than weather, Terry wrings out a yarn of inheritance v heredity, deity v religion, romance v duty and stupidity v (and I *mean* versus) ignorance. There’s a lot about camels, seagulls, olive stones, the value of good needlework and sea breezes.
The story so far….
Teppic inherits the greatest kingdom in this world, i.e. the Disc.
Undeterred, he sets out to make a life for himself.
*You need know nothing of Terry Pratchett or his invented Discworld. [If you do, you meet old friends.]
OK, so Teppic is an assassin. Get over it. And a king, but you can handle that by now, can’t you? As for his godship, he hardly mentions it – the camels are more crucial. The pyramids are just, well, in the way, sort of thing.
Terry writes majestic endings.
If you haven’t read the book by now, I’m wasting my time…..
Obviously…..

‘Pyramids’ clocked in at 2p/chuckle, 10p/giggle, 63p/hmm, 76p/shudder
Ankh-Morpork Dept. of Statistics, D.L.s & L.s