A Lover’s Discourse

I could imagine all the walks around London neighbourhood together with the author. The story resonated with me as I too am from the Chinese background. A wonderful read.

A poignant, thought provoking and meaningful book.

This was my 3rd time reading little little gem… It’s wonderful to read during the dark sleepy hours under the comfy sheets — next to a sleeping husband. Each time I read it… I get something new. “I was taken aback. I thought we were definitely in love at first sight”. “What do you mean? Wasn’t it clear the moment you picked the elderflowers by the park and we looked at each other? Or was it in that book club?” “You gave me a damp smile, as if my confusion proved that you were right. But doesn’t love always start from first sight? I mean, before one reaches one’s thirties or forties. It’s only when we have a second thought about our first sighted love, that we might change our mind. You might ask, why does this happen before one reaches midlife? I don’t have a theory yet, but I think when we are young, our impulses take over our mind. Romantic love is always an impulse in my case”. —I don’t know if I’d like penetrative sex. — What do you mean? —I prefer non-penetrative sex. I prefer kissing tenderness and our bodies being close. – – – -us – – – feel – – – -nice “—As I understand it for Barthes The deepest love was not sexual. It was beyond sexual. —Beyond sexual That was exactly how I felt”. “aking eaning in Space” “—I’d rather have mountains with forests animals and farmhouses in which people really live than trees encased in iron and designer hills”. “—But A great architect is not concerned with vernacular or domestic function. He is interested in space and making meanings in space”. “Britain is Sinking” “—Look at the title: ‘Britain is Sinking’”. —oh how surprising – – – isty – – “Working Class Paradise” “—Have you heard Australia is called a working class paradise?” —A working class Paradise? —I didn’t understand it when we lived here. But now I agree with the cliché if I had to compare it with the working class in Britain or in America”. – – – bungalow – – – “Nostalgic about England” “—Are you nostalgic about England yet?” “—Not yet. I am still looking for my – – – Fernweh ‘Heimweh Sehnsucht’” “Aussie Salute” “—Have you heard of the great Aussie salute?” “—What is that?” “It’s this: you wave your hands to scare away the ies” – – – Zorba the Greek” “Lifeless” “—Why do you think Home is lifeless?” —I don’t think Home is lifeless. This boat’s our home. But I think an enclosed space with a conventional set up is lifeless”. – – – claustrophobic closed for peek. you bi zheng”. “onolingual” “—I’m monolingual”. “—You can’t say you’re monolingual”. “—But I really feel I am. Whether I speak English or Chinese. – “Happy New Year” – – “marriage inconvenience marriage of convenience” “Power is Beautiful” “—Obviously power is beautiful. Women in particular know that”. “—Yes Women are attracted to power but they don’t think it’s beautiful. It’s men’s illusion to think power is beautiful”. “An Unknown Language” “—The murmuring mass of unknown language constitutes a delicious protection. . . Here I am protected against stupidity vulgarity vanity worldliness nationality normality”. “(Roland Barthes) – – “understand” “Real Love – Wahre Liebe” “—Once love is brought down to earth and weighed it’s over. It’s dead”. “—But don’t you agree that real love is the love that’s brought down to earth? It’s only real when it’s mixed up with dirt and sweat. Otherwise it’s just for puppies and adolescents” – – – “50kg of Eternal Love” “Brexhausted” “—We are Brexhausted. Everybody has started to hoard medicines. They say some medications might run out once Britton crashes out of EU”. Roland Barthes, a French author wrote a book called “A Lovers Discourse”. It contains a list of fragments— some of which comes from literature and some from philosophical thought….. interconnected stories about love and lovers. In Xiaolu Guo’s book… she does the same. It’s experimental literature that’s really lovely. It doesn’t take long to read… but asks the reader to examine our own feelings about the theme of love, our differences and compromises with our partners, displacement, loneliness, loss, individualism, cultures, change, fears, judgements, desires, needs, and what home is for us. The simplicity of this book is gorgeous. The artful beauty is emotionally felt. She….. and He…. are from different cultural backgrounds…. As they come together… exploring love from the beginning stages to more mature stages… We, the reader, are given the opportunity to pause and ponder our own relationships of love. Forty-one years of marriage for me … almost forty/two… Our pandemic lifestyle has added a new dimension… for me deeper.. thankful.. profound love… deeper… even more playful… And…. on that note…. You’ll excuse me please while I go back to sleep snuggling Paul. Really lovely!!!! Thank you Netgalley, Grove Atlantic and Xiaolu Guo elysejody

Audiobook Review: In this book, the heroine relates her experiences and views as a Chinese immigrant to the UK, where she is pursuing her doctorate. I think the author does a good job giving an idea of how all the differences between two very different cultures can be alarming, potentially embarrassing, and confusing for an immigrant, especially one from a relatively closed-off society. The author doesn\’t just tell us this; she shows it through the heroine\’s thoughts, actions, and inactions. But the story had a weird setup. It is told in the first-person present from the heroine\’s viewpoint (not a favorite POV of mine), but when she refers to her boyfriend, instead of calling him “he,” she calls him “you,” adding a very strange and somewhat jarring second-person perspective that is not often seen in contemporary writing. As such, it just didn\’t feel right for me and never did. Aside from the occasional moments of showing “immigrant-ness” described above, much of this book felt like telling. We are told of events and even thoughts, instead of seeing them play out in real-time. Quite often this happens at the beginning of books—and I don\’t even like it then—and is termed info-dumping, but in this book, it happened all the way through, effectively distancing the reader from the story the entire time. The narrator was fine except for one point that drove me a little nuts. It takes place in Great Britain, mostly London, with references to other UK places. The narrator could not say Edinburgh properly. She said it like “Edinburg,” instead of the way the natives say it, which is either “Edin-bra” or “Edin-bura.” That got on my last nerve. All in all, I did not enjoy this book or think it was well written. I received a free copy of this audiobook, but that did not affect my review.

Brilliant book about love between individuals from opposing cultural backgrounds, emphasizing their disparate points of view and the compromises made to create one couple unified out of two separate people. Not a traditional romance since it begins with a premise of love at first sight, but it clarifies the changes necessary in moving from immature love to committed love. A million opportunities for fracture are avoided in this examination of love; the practicalities driving romance and commitment.

Galaxyaudiobook Member Benefit

- Able to comment

- List watched audiobooks

- List favorite audiobooks

- Bookmark will only available for Galaxyaudiobook member