Angry All the Time

OK so I have issues with my anger and temper and have been told for decades that I need to do something about it before I end up killing someone….so I got this book to explore my issues with anger. This book pulls no punches and hit me square between the eyes. So now I must face the “cold hard truth” as George Jones once sang, that I am an angry person and wheather I realize it or not I AM ANGRY ALL THE TIME! So if you too think you may have a problem with anger and want to start to fix it then this is a good place to start….

It is true. Constant anger is a lifestyle. A very toxic, expensive and addictive drug. It’s like an unstoppable machine that runs all day, every day. This book is about how to recognize it, accept it and change that. “This is not a nice book…”? I started to feel better while I was reading it. So what if it’s not a “nice book”? To me this is a tool, not a book. A tool I must always use and never forget.

After I read Healing the Angry Brain by Ron Potter-Efron within just two days because I was so fascinated by the information presented in it, I purchased Angry All the Time and found it utterly disappointing. It is all about interpersonal relationships and although I understand at least theoretically that many people are extremely social beings, the title is definitely a misnomer, which makes me feel cheated on.
Toward the end of Healing the Angry Brain this second book was recommended for people who suffer chronic anger, so that’s what I expected. However, chronic anger has not necessarily anything to do with relationships, you can live as withdrawn as a hermit and still be angry, even for no reason at all and only in your mind by using fantasies. I feel that my low-grade, non-violent everyday anger seeks out and successfully finds topics through which it can express itself, not necessarily the other way round. Like a person suffering from depression may think negative thoughts until they find the whole world depressing, an angry person has an almost insuperable tendency to think angry thoughts until they experience the whole world as one huge offense.
Maybe after the first book my expectations were too high. I loved all the scientific explanations and instructions on neuroplasticity and didn’t find any of them in Angry All the Time. So it was boring, disappointing and unpleasant to read. Not that I would agree with someone who found the style sarcastic. It’s slightly ironic at most, and style is always a matter of taste.
Here is why I’m disappointed: The whole book describes the problem — anger — and its possible results. There is no background information nor anything new, and there are no solutions. If we didn’t already know we have an anger problem we would most certainly not buy this kind of book. Meanwhile I have a little library on the topic, and most of them are utter BS because they either contain simple compilations of websites you can read for free, or they suggest pseudo-solutions. Once you realize you’re angry it’s certainly too late to interrupt the process by taking deep breaths or something similar. Getting angry means that one simple and intense emotion takes over, and one could as well try getting out of a crying fit or panic attack by counting to ten — it’s a ridiculous suggestion.

We all have anger and times when we lose our temper. However, some people rely on anger as a response to almost everything. They become desensitized to their behavior and expect others to feel the same way. However, if you live with someone like that, you probably know that you never lose your sensitivity – not really. It’s very hard to live with someone who constantly vents whatever frustration they are feeling. I gave this to someone in my life who was stressing me out and it has been amazingly helpful. This person is someone I’ve known for many years, so it’s not like they are easy to change. Not! But the book made sense to them, and that person is now making a significant effort to change. This is very significant to our relationship – let me tell you! If you come from an angry family, you might be used to it and fall into similar relationships as I did. However, living in a river of anger is not healthy for anyone, including the person who is expressing it all the time. This book is definitely worth a try!

As a rageaholic, this isn’t the first anger book I’ve read, but it’s definitely one of the best. Efron warns you right from the start that the point of this book is to help you change your bad relationship with anger, not to make you feel better. And he certainly sticks to that. No sugar coating involved. He gives you tons of tools and suggestions for dealing with your anger, but also makes a point to say that you can’t expect to change overnight. At one point, he encourages you to make a promise to remain calm for 24 hours. Take it day by day, step by step. Know all of the tools that can help you, but don’t let them overwhelm you. Time will tell whether or not I actually follow his advice and overcome my anger problem. But if I fail, it’s because I chose not to put in enough effort, not because the book wasn’t helpful enough.

Galaxyaudiobook Member Benefit

- Able to comment

- List watched audiobooks

- List favorite audiobooks

- Bookmark will only available for Galaxyaudiobook member