The Heartbreak of Corazon Tagubio : My Heart Underwater

This book didn’t have a lot going on. I resent that there’s so little representation of lesbian relationships and then there’s the whole thing with her teacher, really?? Theres the melodrama of her family. Cory’s mother gives up parenting and sends her out of the country so someone else can deal with her, rather than address anything. Some stuff was confusing like the fact that there wasn’t translations for a most of the dialogue, online translations weren’t very good so mostly you could skip over the Tagalog or make a guess which was time consuming, and her aunt who is a grown woman goes by “baby” which is weird, Cory never has any closure or answers about her teacher which makes the whole book pointless. The religious through-line didn’t do anything for me. I felt like this book didn’t have an actual story or point even though I really wanted to like it.

Reading “My Heart Underwater” was quite a journey. Over the course of forty-three days, I read a final pass ARC received through a mentor from a summer writing program I’m a part of, a good friend of the author’s who was credited in the acknowledgements. Then I found the e-book and e-audiobook on Libby, so I checked those out for a bit. Then on my birthday, the hardcover was a gift from my parents, so I finished the novel by flipping physical pages instead of digital ones.

Over three different formats, Fantauzzo’s debut novel unfolded in a way I’ll never forget. Emotional, cathartic, direct, and unflinching, “My Heart Underwater” is an astonishing YA debut, analyzing the culpability of teacher-student relationships, the complications of all kinds of love, and how one girl discovers that she isn’t disgusting for who she is. I’m scared this novel will get overlooked in a sea of (some may argue) more accessible queer BIPOC reads, ones that don’t feature a teacher-student relationship and discuss it so openly (I do understand that some may be triggered by this content). But this book is so necessary, filled with complex characters, beautiful writing, and a coming-of-age narrative that’s relatable, recognizable, and new all at once. If you’re not turned off by the premise and want a queer FilAm narrative, please pick this one up. You won’t regret it.

Story about a young, bicultural teen discovering herself, understanding the backstory of her family, and the strength found in one’s family. Easy read!

So much in this novel felt familiar—the evocations, on one hand, of shame, pain, and alienation; and, on the other, of familial love, personal growth, and reconciliation with the self. The vessel for these emotions is Corazon, who in the first two thirds of the novel struggles to stay afloat amidst a set of personal challenges that threaten to drown her. Corazon’s journey is well plotted throughout, so the transformation she experiences in the novel’s last third feels gradual, layered, and earned. Overall, this is a tender, hopeful book, one that captures how healing can emerge from struggle.

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