The State of Affairs

The State of Affairs Audiobook

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Review #1

The State of Affairs audiobook free

This book is an absolute must-read for every person. After watching numerous interviews with Ester, I couldn’t resist delving into her material. Her thought process, reasoning, and advice are truly captivating, making you want to absorb all she has to offer. The way she tackles complex relationship issues and delves into the depths of understanding is truly mind-blowing.

Once again, this book doesn’t disappoint. Ester’s words leap off the pages, and her thoughtful analysis of each couple’s dilemma is nothing short of beautiful. What sets her apart is the way she avoids passing judgment on people’s mistakes and instead offers understanding, a willingness to listen, and a desire to help make sense of the “why.”

Although I’m not personally experiencing marital infidelity, I know people who have gone through it, who have committed it, and who have been harshly judged for it. Many of them are left without closure, wondering why it happened. In the past, I was quick to judge those who cheated and automatically considered the partner the victim. However, through Ester’s insights, I’ve come to realize that every story has two sides, and delving deeper reveals that often there is no clear victim, as both parties play a part in what unfolds.

This is why I wanted to understand more about the reasons behind infidelity, the yearning for something different, and what to do when faced with such emotions. The book helped me recognize that we are all imperfect human beings, and cheating is not solely confined to physical actions; it can also manifest in emotional ways. Some of us engage in “mind cheating,” which requires introspection and addressing the underlying issues.

This book is not only for those who have experienced infidelity or been cheated on; it’s for everyone. We are all susceptible to some form of infidelity. By learning about it and exploring our own thoughts and feelings, we can gain a deeper understanding and become less judgmental towards others and ourselves when faced with such challenges.

Review #2

The State of Affairs audiobook

Approximately three months after my husband admitted to cheating, I came across this book, and it has been instrumental in aiding my healing process. It’s important to note that the book does not excuse cheating; instead, it humanizes everyone involved and thoroughly explores the various perspectives of each individual within the situation.

I found the book so helpful that I decided to read it again about a month later, and its impact remained just as profound the second time around. The author delves into other aspects of the relationship that might have contributed to the choice to cheat, but she does not place blame on the person who was cheated on. She makes it clear that the person who cheated made their own decision, and she does not offer excuses for them.

The book, however, emphasizes the importance of acknowledging and addressing everything that existed before the affair occurred. Ignoring the past is unhelpful if you’re trying to heal and/or rebuild your relationship. The author assumes that if you want to work things out with your partner, you also want to improve your relationship overall, even if it previously felt happy and fulfilling before the affair.

It’s worth mentioning that this book is particularly beneficial in situations where the person who had the affair is remorseful and willing to change, but this might not always be the case in every situation. As someone who has experienced being cheated on, I wholeheartedly recommend this book as a valuable resource on the journey of healing.

Review #3

Audiobook The State of Affairs by Esther Perel

If you’ve ever endured the painful experience of infidelity in a relationship, this book is an absolute necessity. Even though I’m only halfway through it, I’ve already found myself underlining numerous passages. I wish I had come across it sooner; it has been years since the betrayal, and yet I still struggle at times. Everywhere I turn, be it in movies, books, songs, or conversations with friends, the topic of affairs and cheating seems to resurface constantly. Before experiencing it firsthand, I never noticed how pervasive it was. You can’t simply forget what happened and never think about it again.

What sets this book apart for me is its non-victim approach. Yes, someone has hurt and betrayed you in a terrible way, but reading this book has had a surprisingly calming effect on me, rather than bringing back all those painful emotions. I admit that there were moments when I cried while reading, but ultimately, it made me feel better, not worse.

I particularly appreciated the chapter on jealousy and obsession over the other person, as many books don’t cover this aspect. It made me realize that having these feelings is not abnormal, and it reassured me that I’m not alone in dealing with them.

The author’s casual and straightforward writing style resonates with me. When it comes to such an emotionally charged subject, I prefer someone who speaks frankly rather than adopting a clinical tone. This book feels like a supportive friend offering advice, not a distant doctor.

If you’re currently going through this terrible ordeal, I highly recommend reading this book, regardless of whether it’s been weeks or years since the discovery. It offers valuable insights and support to help you navigate the complex emotions and challenges that come with healing from infidelity.

Review #4

Audio The State of Affairs narrated by Esther Perel

Esther Perel has truly changed my perspective on infidelity, offering me a fresh and insightful outlook. This book has completely transformed my thinking on the subject, turning it around 360 degrees. I cannot stress enough how much I recommend this read, especially for those who have been victims of infidelity. Through her words, I’ve learned to embrace empathy and compassion in a whole new way.

Review #5

Free audio The State of Affairs – in the audio player below

This book opened my mind to the idea that divorce is not a failure but rather a fresh start for both parties involved. It highlighted the importance of embracing eroticism to keep the spark alive in a relationship and avoid monotony. I can’t help but think that keeping this valuable knowledge to oneself would be selfish. I truly admire and appreciate the author’s magnificent talent in writing this book. Thank you for being such an inspiring source.

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