Buy Yourself the F*cking Lilies: And Other Rituals to Fix Your Life, from Someone Who’s Been There

I stumbled upon this book during a bout of depression. I was searching for \”reasons to stay alive\”. I read the description and was further intrigued. I am so happy I bought this book. I\’ve cried, laughed, felt and understood. I feel like I\’ve gained a new friend and I will most definitely be rereading it. I\’ve gained so much through her stories and experiences. I call it my healing Bible. She\’s written this book in a way that has spoken to me deeper than any other I\’ve ever read. This review isn\’t even doing the justice I wish to provide.

I saw an advertisement for a paid and somewhat expensive book signing by Tara in a private home. I read the book\’s accolades and purchased it with anticipation. Let me start by saying Tara sounds like a nice person and this isn\’t a review of her as an individual. But I think it\’s important to give my honest opinion of this book, especially as it\’s being monetized with paid events and free copies in exchange for reviews. Tara says she\’s \”just like you\” and very well may be, but the air of authority and expertise in giving her readers \”permission\” to feel, act, do, just as she did is offputting. She assigns homework like \”write this 5 times a day and I dare you not to feel better\”. She speaks in juvenile vernacular, using texting shortcuts, talking about \”boys\” (a lot!), and swearing quite a bit (swear words can be great punctuation but don\’t work well as general narrative) so it was hard to take her seriously. You can read the table of contents to see the entire depth of her advice. But her book takes from other author\’s works, providing just a taste of what worked specifically for her and she uses that to go on in great detail about her life. It didn\’t provide any new insights and what it does provide is fairly shallow and sometimes misleading. She claims Marie Kondo is nonsense \”So you think you\’re better than me?\” but then proceeds to talk about how she finds joy in having an organized space and tells everyone to make their bed. Nearly every chapter follows the same formula: My life was a mess, but I read/heard/was told this thing that helped me, here\’s exactly what I did (usually with talk about putting glitter on something), and ends with the sentence or a paragraph \”what is your _____?\”, inviting you to draw comparisons about your own life, without providing anything insightful and glossing over any details she may have learned other than what worked for her. Also, Tara, glitter is an environmental nightmare. Having successfully used other self help/self care books and advice does not make you an expert. This book comes across as an immature self-congratulatory romp through things the author has tried while giving you \”permission\” to do the same. If you want solid in-depth self care writing from some great authors, I\’d recommend \”Running on Empty\” by Jonice Webb (excellent emotional repair self care book) and \”Better than Before\” by Gretchen Rubin (she writes about what worked for her AND what works for other personality types in depth) and \”Habits of a Happy Brain\” by Loretta Breuning or \”The Willpower Instinct\” by Kelly McGonigal. Tara mentions only the morning pages from The Artists\’ Way, but the whole book is wonderful. Sorry T$, I did not like this book.

I\’ve read my share of self-care/improvement/help books and have found many to be full of dull platitudes or feigned vulnerability. And here comes Tara with some REAL TALK; you want to hug her and cheer her on at the same time, she makes you laugh and cry (all while wondering, \”C\’mon, that really didn\’t happen\”). I was skeptical of the exercises, yet within a few days, I started trying them all… and guess what? They worked. I\’ve already gifted this book a dozen times! Great work, looking forward to the sequel

Not for those with hang ups about the ladies swearing. Very thoughtful and relatable book with tangible steps for how to reparent yourself. A must for anyone who grew up with self-absorbed parents or slow-simmering trauma. I loved it and I am already working through the advice! It is the best self help book I have come across for the unique challenges of millennial adults.

I stumbled upon this book as it got recommended by me dear book lover Bff and saw a light in it… it was hard to get warmed up to it because I have a strong intellectual inner judge who doesn\’t like swearing, slang and cheap words when there are so many previous words to use instead …. but I kept going… there was something real, strong, universal… funny, and helpful. I now recommend this book to anyone passionate about self care and flourishing in life! Even when you are already far on the self care road you will appreciate your own victories more and connect to all those pieces of you that you have integrated with magic glue on your way… and you may find new tools use them! There are never enough great ideas to use! I used some to fine tune my own wall – I specially loved and incorporated the idea of hype men, road warriors and no way, ever, not people … and thank you cards! Enjoy and journal on!

Galaxyaudiobook Member Benefit

- Able to comment

- List watched audiobooks

- List favorite audiobooks

- Bookmark will only available for Galaxyaudiobook member