Look — you should buy this book. If you were interested enough to get here, you have something to gain from reading it, and it is a well-researched, artfully written commentary on the power struggle that makes coupling problematic. That said — I remain unconvinced that the majority of the issues she finds with heterosexuality are not present in queer couplehood. Just because partners are of the same gender — does not mean there can not be an imbalance of power, and dare I say it — abuse. The writer admits her findings don’t apply to “all” heterosexual relationships, and that not all queer ones are immune to these issues, but I think the reality is a lot closer than that.
Read the book, digest it, discuss it (I’ve been doing that a lot, which means it did its job!) and maybe you’ll feel like me and maybe you won’t. Either way you’ll come out of the experience more informed, and with more to think about.
Review #2
I’m a ‘feminist’ male under the author’s definition. I’m sexually attracted to – and really like – am really for – women. I’ve spent my entire adult life railing against my competition, as Jerry Butler so famously said, ‘he don’t love you like I love you – if he did he wouldn’t break your heart.’ I enjoyed – and was (intellectually) stimulated by – your arguments, but I suspect weakness in the proclamation by so many straight women that they dislike/hate their male partners. I, too, have heard this over the years and have taken it more in a spirit of humor and/or loving mock-criticism. That view was often stated – or confirmed – by the woman making the comment(s). Thanks for a fascinating, thought provoking read.
