God Touched

This book started off really great – I read the free sample and then bought the book when I was finished with that. Chris is a special exorcist. He’s not sure how he does what he does, but he hasn’t met a demon that can withstand him yet. However, until the opening he’s never realized that there were vampires and werewolves and other magical creatures out there too.

Once we get past the initial shock of “it’s all true!”, the story stagnates. There seemed to be an interesting plot laid down at the beginning, but it’s left lying abandoned once it’s served the purpose of getting Chris together with his trophy vampire girlfriend.

After that it descends quickly into wish fulfilment. Chris is handsome, but doesn’t realize how handsome he is until he’s already scored the hot vampire girlfriend and then a bunch of other women start hitting on him. He can do all the things, usually without even trying. Everything comes easily to him and the book from that point on it just explanations of how wonderful he is. Pass.

Despise the overwhelmingly positive reviews, this actually isn’t a very good story. The author has made the classic novice mistake of setting up interesting characters and setting without interesting conflict. Or hardly any conflict at all, really.
The story follows a formula: the magic hero encounters a threat, he dispatches it with ease, and everyone around him is disproportionately grateful. Rinse and repeat. The character does not encounter failure, setback or bad luck. When faced with threats he cannot resolve, he encounters preposterously good luck.
The romance is equally shallow. Before the book, the magic hero had been celibate because he does not want his lovers to become targets. But the first woman he saves is a sexy wealthy vampire princess virgin who immediately falls in love with him. Since she had already been targeted by demons, his conscience is clear to have hot monkey sex. The only hiccup in their mystic soul bond relationship -the only gripping moment!- is when the vampire princess tells him it’s over and thanks for all the fish in order to protect him. The dramatic potential is *immediately* spoiled by two characters assuring the hero that she doesn’t mean it, she’s being manipulated, blah blah blah.
So let’s recap. This rookie cop is a millionaire with a trust fund, banishes demons with unique senses and abilities, has a hot, rich vampire girlfriend and a giant invisible bear buddy, is slowly turning into a superhero… and we are supposed to believe this dude thinks God has it out for him???
This isn’t a novel, its a wish fulfillment checklist.

John Conroe’s ”

God Touched (The Demon Accords Book 1)

” is a pleasant surprise. I picked it up on a whim and found a pretty good Action Fantasy story. It reminds me a bit of Jim Butcher’s “Dresden” series if Dresden were an action figure instead of a private eye/wizard. I’m not sure if it’s an homage to Butcher/Dresden, but Conroe has borrowed quite a few elements from Dresden’s universe and used them here. The story is entirely its own, though. The writing, universe, characters, plot, and pacing are all good. My only significant issue is that it edges slightly into a young male wish fulfillment type of story. But, it’s not an overriding theme. One odd thing that I noticed in the version I read is that there’s not formatting for chapter headings: no page breaks, no paragraph marks, no additional line spacing, no font changes. Nothing significant, just surprising. Anyway, I’m officially rating it at a Very Good 4 stars out of 5. But, I’d really like to drop it down half a star to 3-1/2 stars because of the young male trend.

Short Review

This is a hard book to review, the beginning was flat out awful, like It’s hard to produce something that bad without trying

-Poor, almost juvenile writing in the sense it feels like it was written by a kid in middle school
-Tacky and excessive swearing.
-I’m a guy who sees the future and hunts demons BUT OMG VAMPIRES EXIST, NO WAY!
-Everything just happens out of nowhere and is poorly explained if at all
-Mass introduction of characters that aren’t even given descriptions other than ‘tall’ or ‘big’
-Beautiful Vampire girl wonders why a man would help her. Seriously, I don’t even…

I had to put this book down after two chapters because I’ve never read a book so badly written, In my original review I gave this book 1 star because I put the book down because of how atrocious the beginning was. Upon forcing myself past that part my review bumps up to around the 2.5 star area.

Second Book
I’m stopping the series here, the author for whatever reason just hands the Protagonist everything in terms of superpowers, It worked in the first book but the powers just kept piling on, he literally can do ANYTHING at this point. I could over look that detail if the book was good, but it’s just as much of a mess as the first one with even less of a plot other than “OMG MY LIFE IS SO HARD but I have every superpower conceivable”.

This could have been brilliant, I really liked the premise, but it was so so so rushed. The journey from normal(ish) guy to an un-killable superman took 1-2 books and thats when it stopped being in any way enjoyable. Who cares about a character who is in no way relataleble, is unkillerble and reads like a complete tool?

The best way I can explain the writing style or tone of the book is that of a hormonal teenage boy: there is not an ‘ugly’ character in the series, every girl fancies the protagonist leading to some of the most cringe worthy writing descriptions i’ve ever encountered…it’s like the writers wet dream from his youth. I would bet money, a lot of money, on the author having some kind of food stuffing fetish because the time and language with which he describes eating and what is being eaten is way more than the time he puts into developing any characters. If this really is an outlet of sexual frustration I think the anther had just gone balls to the wall and just written the fetish novel he so desperately wished he could write .

To sum up: read the first book, it’s fun enough, the grammar and spelling errors don’t bother me and its a good way to pass some time. But for the love of god don’t but any other books as you will be very very very dissapointed.

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